More About Me

The laundry list first. The kind of stuff you put on a job application. I mean, when I turn in job applications I spend most of it explaining my criminal record. What normal people put on their applications then.

I'm 24. Five foot six. My weight is my own business. Employed. Thankfully, gainfully employed at a thrift store. I sort through the stuff that comes in. I throw things away that are too terrible for anyone to touch ever again. Think blackened. Think rotting. Think toys that are moldy and can't be washed. One time I found a banana peel among a box of sunglasses. Not pleasant.

Living by myself. Yay. For the first time in a while. After, well, after I left college. No, that's not right. After I was taken from college. After circumstances converged, here meaning my mental illness, I was removed from college. Really from the general population at large.

Spent a year in an institution. Then therapy and medication at home. Then telling my mom I was ready to move out again. Then apartment.

Not very nice. It has a bedroom, a bathroom, and one large room with the kitchen and the living room. Smallish, but I live a smallish life. Smallish feels right.

Medication repertoire is as follows. 2mg of Lorazepam for the anxiety. 16mg of Iloperidone for the hallucinations. 200mg of Paroxetine (Paxil) to make everything a little happier. I like the Iloperidone the best. Anti-psychotics give you the best dreams.

But enough about therapy and medication. How about friends? Not many. Sarah works with me and I met Mike when I used to go to group therapy. They're nice. Age appropriate, surprisingly.

What else?

I used to be into the internet. I mean, really into it.  4Chan and everything. Tried trolling for an embarrassing period, but that phase passed. Forums, but a certain kind of forum. More on that later. It's too soon to talk about that.

I like flowers and cats, but I guess everyone does. I love used book stores and diners where they pretend its still the fifties. It's a simpler time, you know? I also love chick flicks. Especially anything by Nickolas Sparks. The Notebook always makes me weep.

I hope this is interesting. I hope it makes sense. This is as much sense as my life ever makes. But I feel good now. I feel happy. Mark it down as a day when I felt, happy. Nice.

I wish I felt a little less lonely sometimes, but I'm working on that too. Meeting people is hard. Keeping them is harder.

So if you know any people that need others, send them my way.