Stats and Time

Checked the blog stats yesterday. Found out that no one is really reading. (xcept someone from Germany, maybe? Lol, hello to you single German viewer!) Decided it's time.

I think I'm ready to talk about it.

Really that's why I started this blog. I mean, I know I said this was for . . . what did I say it was for? Peace of mind. Pieces of my mind. Madison in pieces. My sanity. That is to say, the part of me that's still sane which is now a piece of a piece of a piece.

But all along I wanted to tell the story. To organize what happened. To say it out loud, finally, now that I know it's not real. The next time you read this blog it's going to be bad. It's going to be scary. About him. About it.

The man who is not a man. The creature with the long arms and no face. Capitol H.I.M. Like that Lady Gaga song, except the source of my insanity rather than a metaphor for god. (So maybe like Lady Gaga then, haha. Sorry, bad joke. I make them when I'm nervous. Not the time.)

He has a name that I refuse to use. People know it. They draw pictures. They circle him, single him out, in crowds of children. I can't say it and I won't. Last time I did, well, it wasn't good.

But I can tell you the story, back when Madison was whole. Back before everything started happening. Though you have to go pretty far back to tell you about that Madison, I can still find her. I have to.

No matter how hard he tried, he could never take that piece of me.

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